How to find people to trust

Everyone has experienced pain and hurt at some point in their lives. We have all felt like our trust has been compromised, and we wonder if we will ever be able to trust again. However, trust is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, and you cannot just skip over it. It is simple. You have to let your guard down and let go of the fear.

1. Own Your Story

As humans, we tend to believe that we are risking too much by putting ourselves out there and being vulnerable, but the opposite is actually true. Life is messy, but it has to be in order to be worth living. Building protective walls to hide behind — emotionally speaking — may sound like a good idea, but those walls do not discriminate between positive and negative feelings.

A life that is guaranteed to be free from betrayal is also guaranteed to be free from love.

3 Good Reasons To Trust People

Love is choosing to trust someone with your heart. You can practice showing your emotional vulnerability in a safe setting. Talk to a close family member or good friend and be open with them about how you are feeling. You may implicitly trust them, but the act of opening up shows this in a very real way and it reinforces the belief in your mind that trust is a good thing.

In order to ever trust another person, you must first trust yourself. Trust in your judgment and ability to make good choices. Just because someone you loved hurt you, it does not mean you have poor judgment, or that you made a mistake letting them in. Your instincts are powerful, and you should not doubt yourself based on this one experience. Pay attention to your instincts and trust yourself today, tomorrow, and every day.

A good exercise to try if you want to rebuild trust in yourself is to look at all the decisions you have made that have had positive outcomes. Start with your choice to end things with the person who broke your trust.

And look at your wider life and all of the things that are going well in it. You will have certainly made many great choices that had positive results.

Good financial choices, good career choices, good health choices, good friendship choices — make a list and remind yourself how strong your instincts are. Forgiveness is important. It is natural to blame yourself for allowing someone to hurt you. You may think that you were stupid to have allowed it or that you should have known better. Sure, you might have disagreed with your partner and even got upset with them at times, but you did not deserve to have your trust broken.

You are grieving the relationship you had with that person. You are grieving the person you thought you knew, but who turned out to be someone different. You are grieving the life you had and the life you thought you would have with them in the future. It is really easy to feel bad for yourself after being hurt.

1. Embrace Vulnerability

While you may need a day or two to stay in bed eating ice cream and crying to sad love stories on television, try to wrap it up quickly. If you focus entirely on blaming the person involved, you make yourself the victim. You are not their victim. You are not the victim.

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  • How to Build Trust: 12 General Tips.

You are not a victim. If you allow it to, the victim mentality can pervade all areas of your life. It can rob you of your self-confidence and self-worth. Do you want to give the other person that sort of power over you even when they are no longer in your life?

Make an effort to overcome it. Yes, you can overcome it. It starts with great questions. In a thirty minute call, the client does almost all of the talking. That's the best type of sales call. I just guide them by asking insightful questions, and listening intently. By asking insightful questions, you can steer the conversation, identifying the clients needs and then eventually showing them how what you offer is a fit for their needs.

More importantly, though, when people feel listened to, they feel understood and validated. When they feel understood and validated, they like you.

50 Trust Quotes That Prove Trust is Everything

When they like you, they trust you. And when they trust you, they're willing to do a deal. When you meet anyone they are subconsciously evaluating you for your trustworthiness. I don't know the exact psychology of it, but I would suggest that it's the primary criteria people are assessing mostly subconsciously. Think of the times you've met someone new and walked away with a good impression.

Look back on the encounter and think of what made you feel that way. Chances are what you really felt was validated and listened to. This question originally appeared on Quora. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and access insider knowledge. More questions:. A better way to describe that is to say: I get people to trust me for a living. After the routine pleasantries, he announced that he talked to dozens of marketing companies, and they had passed on them since the internal marketing team were doing a great job growing the brand.

He talked for the next forty minutes. He said he didn't need to see a proposal and asked for us to send over the contract.

How to Believe in People Again

I had spoken for in total less than two minutes. How did this happen?

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